Sometimes I feel like all I do is mess up. I do things I shouldn’t do, say things I shouldn’t say. I beat myself up nonstop. You ever feel at war with yourself? That’s me – all the time. I’m in a constant conversation in my own head. Berating my own actions and thoughts. But therein lies the problem – I shouldn’t be in constant communication with my own self; I should be in constant communication with Him.
I feel like as Christians, sometimes we focus so much on the outside battles that we forget that all our battles start from within. Our daily walk is nothing more than a ripple affect flowing from our hearts. Proverbs 4:23 tells us, “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” I’ve been told my whole life, and rightfully so, what you take in your heart, will come out of your mouth. It’s absolute truth. Matthew 15:18-20 says, “But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander. These are what defile a person. But to eat with unwashed hands does not defile anyone.” That’s quite an alarming list, right?! However, I think sometimes we try to keep all the bad things out without supplementing it with the Word and prayer. We end up trying to fight the battle without our greatest weapons. This is not how God intended it.
We are Christians because we realized that we were lost and needed a savior. That doesn’t stop after we accept Christ. We still need Him every single day. He doesn’t want us to accept Him then go on trying to tackle every trial and temptation alone. Psalm 34:17 says, “When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles.” He is faithful to help us, we just need to ask. We cannot let pride and stubbornness keep us from gaining access to the Lord. We are no match for this world without Him. We are weak in the flesh and our own hearts cannot be trusted. Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” We have a natural sin nature that we’re constantly fighting against, not to mention Satan’s attempts to derail us, and we can’t successfully do that on our own. We cannot fight spiritual battles without our spiritual Father.
My prayer today, and everyday, is Psalm 51:10, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.” I pray that instead of being constantly at war within our own minds, we turn to the One who told Moses that He would fight for him, if he’d only be still. We need to rest in the Lord and trust Him.
Until next time,